Since March so much has gone on in my life that every night when I put my head on the pillow, it has been hard to sleep. I put myself on auto-pilot and the days just blended into one another.
First came the COVID queue, where I worked answering amazing calls to get people’s appointments booked for their vaccines. The stories I heard and the thanks I got, sometimes in tears, made the 16 hours days doing both jobs for three weeks, worth it. However it took a toll on my back, to the point that I struggle to do anything.
Just after that, while mom is in a wonderful care home for dementia, I was finally able to bring her to get an x-ray of her lungs. I knew something was really wrong, when I couldn’t hold myself up with my back, but I had to hold her up to take the x-rays. She had lung cancer. Something the doctor said is a fluke, more than likely the body shutting down.
At the same time I make the decision to embark on a new job at work, where I became a single contributor and let go of my team. I had been a leader for 20 years and I didn’t realize how hard it would be on me. Thankfully the next day, I got an email from a team member I didn’t even know, that he was so happy I would be the wellness ambassador full time. I knew I had made the right choice and a new adventure awaited.
Because I absolutely love pressure, I had set a goal to launch my “Cooking the Mindful Way – A Tribute to Alzheimer’s Cookbook” for June. I poured hours into this passion and I couldn’t be more proud of the book and the $10,000 I raised for Alzheimer’s.
The ups and down’s drove me in every direction. I was slowly getting depleted in energy and positivity. COVID has done a number on all of us. Taking the social away from the humans we are has taken a toll and that added to my struggle to keep positive.
The past month, I got my grove with my new job. I’ve rebranded from Be Well to “Everything Wellness – Live Life Well”. I finally know the direction and purpose I have at TELUS and I’m so proud to help anyone that needs to get on their wellness journey.
They say stress comes in all forms, and mine attacked my weakest part. My lower back. Stars aligned and I got an MRI quickly and even got to see a specialist right away. Due to the weeks of sitting, I have massive inflammation in my lower back and therefore I’ve had to get spinal injections to help with the pain. I had two, but with mom being so ill, I didn’t care how much my back hurt when I sat awkwardly to hold her hand. Therefore the first two didn’t do much to help because I didn’t do much to let them work.
A week ago today, my mom died in my arms and for those that have lost a loved one when they have been sick, you know the weight that comes off your body. I was even more blessed because the week before mom said to me to continue to live life positively and to the fullest. So a bitter sweet death, one that fuels me to carry on.
Lot’s has gone on these past six months. I’ve put everyone else first to ensure they had what they needed. Today, I know I have to put me and my well-being first. Give my back time to heal from the last shot I got on Saturday, get my mentals in a great place so I can continue the work I love at TELUS, be there for my kids and grandsons, and put my mom to rest at some point over the next ten days.
AH HA moments come when you need them the most. You just have to make sure you action them when they come. Every time I think back at the last true conversation I had with mom, I know my purpose in life. Live Life Well and to the Fullest, with positivity and love for humanity and everything we have on this wonderful earth. Because remember any day above ground, is an awesome day.
Knowing when to put yourself first is so important, so now I take time for me. To put back positivity and start living life again to its fullest. Thank you to my family who means the world to me for the support they give me every day, thank you to the friends that would do anything whenever I ask, thank you to the co-workers that are companionate and a blast to work with, thank you mom and dad for giving me this wonderful life.
Live life well everyone! Big virtual hugs.
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